February 24th, 2012 at 9:11AM

With Friends Like These

The friend that my wife and I invited to Mardi Gras, but who declined because she said it didn’t “sound interesting” is trying very hard to wriggle back into my good graces.  On the matter of masturbation she has told me that she considers it completely unnecessary.  I can live with her thinking that, but not her efforts to convince me.  If you’re not going to do anything more interesting to it than hurl self righteous speeches at it, leave my dick alone.

And just this morning I was told that I’m being tolerated.  She doesn’t like most of what I say, but doesn’t want to lose me as a friend.  Which makes not a jot of sense.  Essentially I was told we’d be better friends if I were a different person.

It’s a great way to start a Friday.

  1. inflamma-tori said: I’d choke a bitch, and while doing it, I’d look into her eyes and say “do you find this at all interesting?” and when she gasps for air, shaking her head no, I’d remind her that if she would have gone to Mardi gras, she’d be more interesting.
  2. apieceofmine said: Wtf?
  3. techsgtjenn said: What a fucking fuck.
  4. classicvava posted this
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